Saturday, November 22, 2008

Palin Screws Up Turkey Pardon

The yearly pardoning of a turkey to spare it from death before Thanksgiving is the ultimate photo op for a governor. It's an easy way to get your name in the press for something no one disagrees with. Unless you are Sarah Palin. She managed to screw up that ceremony by giving an interview about her pardon while another bird was being slaughtered in the background.

While that is certainly funny, her the nonsensical rambling statements she made during the interview are equally funny:

"It's nice to support a local business and just participate in something that isn't so heavy handed politics that invites criticism," Palin said during the interview. "Certainly will probably invite criticism for even doing this too, but at least it was fun." She also said "I am always in charge of the turkey so I am where I need to be today to prepare for that."

Source: CNN

Sunday, November 9, 2008

More Palin Scandal Emerges After Electon

ABC News reports that after the election, more disturbing facts about Sarah Palin came to light.
Specifically, Fox News reported that Palin didn't know Africa was a continent and did not know the member nations of the North American Free Trade Agreement -- the United States, Mexico and Canada -- when she was picked for vice president.

In addition, Newsweek reported that Palin spent far more than the previously reported $150,000 on clothes for herself and her family. Apparently Palin leaned on some low-level staffers to put thousands of dollars of additional purchases on their credit cards. The national committee and McCain became aware of the extra expenditures, including clothes for husband Todd Palin, when the staffers sought reimbursement. A McCain aide described the Palin family shopping spree to Newsweek as "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast."

But that's not the funny part. The funny part is "longtime Palin staffer" Meg Stapleton's attempt to defend Palin. Stapleton told ABC:

"[T]he Fox News report on Africa and NAFTA was taken out of context. She explained that during a briefing session, someone asked Palin to explain the McCain-Palin stance on an issue, and as she was responding, "in the middle, she said 'country of Africa' and somebody instantly wrote it down and said, 'Oh, my God, she thinks it's a country... But "she knows it's a continent," Stapleton said. "It was just a human mistake.'"

That doesn't even make sense. Either the statement was taken out of context (in which case, it was the reporter's mistake, not Palin's) or she made a mistake, but it was just a 'human' mistake. It can't be both. And for that matter, what exactly is a 'human mistake'? Is there any other kind of mistake someone can make? Is Palin's next gaffe going to be a robot mistake? Or a computer mistake?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Palin's Defeat: The Day After

It is with great joy and sadness that I write this blog. Joy because last night, Americans went to the polls and cast their vote for Barack Obama, and in so doing, Sarah Palin was defeated. The pick that was initially described as brilliant and "a game changer" ended up as a major drag on the ticket. I don't think it is an exaggeration to say that I, through this blog, was singlehandedly responsible for her defeat. So, coupled with the benefits of living in a Palin free world is the satisfaction I get from having taken her down. While this may not make we welcome in Alaska, Alaska is a state that just re-elected Ted Stevens to the Senate even though he was convicted of corruption. Coupled with Palin's numerous ethical lapses (as detailed by this blog), one can only conclude that one of the prerequisites to being accepted in Alaska is doing something to rip off the public.

But I digress. The point is, Obama won, Palin lost, so I should be overjoyed right? I am ... almost. There is also a tinge of sadness to this victory. Sadness because, an unintended side effect of Sarah Palin losing is ... losing Sarah Palin. You see, as of today, there really is no reason for this blog to exist. It's evolve or perish. After much internal examination ... of my movie collection, I have identified three courses of action, all of which have precedent in the movie industry. Given that we just completed the longest election ever, it only seems fitting to let my loyal readers (and people who hate this page) to decide which path to choose:

1. Continue to follow Palin: Palin is being floated as a 2012 candidate and a leader of the Republican Party. If she stays in the public eye, her steady stream of stupidity will continue. The blog would serve a constant reminder that we must be ever vigilant in guarding against the return of Palin.
Pro: The aliens in Alien were even better when they were in Aliens. So who is to say that Palin won't be even more blog worthy now?
Con: Predator 2 used the same alien that they used in Predator. This clearly shows that keeping the same bad guy can backfire ... big time. Then again, that may be more a result of swapping Arnold out for Danny Glover.

2. Find a new enemy: Palin is the worst ever. But that doesn't mean we can't find the second worst ever and focus our intense scrutiny on him/her. If this option is chosen, I will scour America for new enemy candidates, and we'll have another vote. Picture Paris Hilton's show where she's auditioning her new best friend. Candidates would not have to be as laughably bad as Palin (because it is quite possible no one is), but should be at least bad enough to make that person interesting to write about.

Pro: Spider Man 2's Doc Ock was even better than the Green Goblin.
Con: After the creepy aliens in Pitch Black we got ... I don't even know what we got in the sequel The Chronicles of Riddick - that's how bad the movie was.

3. End the blog: Let's be real. Some times, you gotta know when to stop when you are on top. Continuing on can only taint your legacy. Given the sheer awesomeness of this blog, it is quite possible that there is no where to go but down.

Pro: There are countless cinematic masterpieces that have refrained from a sequel: Office Space, The Sixth Sense, Gladiator, Dude, Where's My Car? ... and the list goes on and on. They stand in stark contrast to films that made a sequel so bad it made me wish I never saw the first movie. After Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, we got Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (with Vanilla Ice).
Con: Godfather Part II, The Empire Strikes Back, Weekend at Bernie's II, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and Caddyshack II would never have been made if people weren't brave enough to make sequels to hit movies.

America, it is time to vote. This is the last time someone will tell you that for at least ... a week. So exercise your right and determine the future of this blog!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Palin Strikes Again

Showing that she is always on the cutting edge of current events, Sarah Palin began attacking Barack Obama for comments he made in an interview months ago in which the he suggested coal plants could be bankrupted by his cap-and-trade proposal. She took Obama to task for the proposal, saying "it will bankrupt them because they’re going to be charged a huge sum for all that greenhouse gas that’s being emitted.” Perhaps in an attempt to head off charges that she would have known about this long ago if she had bothered to read anything, she blamed her delay on the 'liberal media.'

“Why is the audio tape just now surfacing?,” Palin asked. “This interview was given to San Francisco folks many, many months ago. You should have known about this, so that you would have better decision-making information as you go into the voting booth.”

There's one problem with her liberal conspiracy theory. It's false. Contrary to her attempts to portray a media cover-up, audio and video recordings of Obama’s January 17 sit-down with the Chronicle editorial board have been freely available online for more than nine months.

Oh, and there's another problem. John McCain also supports a market-based cap-and-trade proposal to reduce carbon emissions. Source: CNN

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Palin Takes Prank Call From Fake French President

Sarah Palin unwittingly took a prank call Saturday from a Canadian comedian posing as French President Nicolas Sarkozy. That's understandable, I don't think I'd recognize Sarkozy's voice if he called me. During the call, "Sarkozy" told her she would make a good president someday ... which should have been her first sign that the call was a prank.

Of course, Palin has claimed extensive experience as a Russia and Canada specialist, given her proximity to those countries. Thankfully, she was able to flex her foreign policy knowledge of Canada. During the call, the prankster refers to Canadian singer Steph Carse as Canada's prime minister, Palin replies: "Well, he's doing fine and yeah, when you come into a position underestimated it gives you an opportunity to prove the pundits and the critics wrong. You work that much harder." Canada's prime minister is Stephen Harper.
Source: Yahoo

You can listen to the clip on YouTube HERE - it's kind of scary how long it took someone running for vice president to figure out she was getting punked.