Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Palin's Defeat: The Day After

It is with great joy and sadness that I write this blog. Joy because last night, Americans went to the polls and cast their vote for Barack Obama, and in so doing, Sarah Palin was defeated. The pick that was initially described as brilliant and "a game changer" ended up as a major drag on the ticket. I don't think it is an exaggeration to say that I, through this blog, was singlehandedly responsible for her defeat. So, coupled with the benefits of living in a Palin free world is the satisfaction I get from having taken her down. While this may not make we welcome in Alaska, Alaska is a state that just re-elected Ted Stevens to the Senate even though he was convicted of corruption. Coupled with Palin's numerous ethical lapses (as detailed by this blog), one can only conclude that one of the prerequisites to being accepted in Alaska is doing something to rip off the public.

But I digress. The point is, Obama won, Palin lost, so I should be overjoyed right? I am ... almost. There is also a tinge of sadness to this victory. Sadness because, an unintended side effect of Sarah Palin losing is ... losing Sarah Palin. You see, as of today, there really is no reason for this blog to exist. It's evolve or perish. After much internal examination ... of my movie collection, I have identified three courses of action, all of which have precedent in the movie industry. Given that we just completed the longest election ever, it only seems fitting to let my loyal readers (and people who hate this page) to decide which path to choose:

1. Continue to follow Palin: Palin is being floated as a 2012 candidate and a leader of the Republican Party. If she stays in the public eye, her steady stream of stupidity will continue. The blog would serve a constant reminder that we must be ever vigilant in guarding against the return of Palin.
Pro: The aliens in Alien were even better when they were in Aliens. So who is to say that Palin won't be even more blog worthy now?
Con: Predator 2 used the same alien that they used in Predator. This clearly shows that keeping the same bad guy can backfire ... big time. Then again, that may be more a result of swapping Arnold out for Danny Glover.

2. Find a new enemy: Palin is the worst ever. But that doesn't mean we can't find the second worst ever and focus our intense scrutiny on him/her. If this option is chosen, I will scour America for new enemy candidates, and we'll have another vote. Picture Paris Hilton's show where she's auditioning her new best friend. Candidates would not have to be as laughably bad as Palin (because it is quite possible no one is), but should be at least bad enough to make that person interesting to write about.

Pro: Spider Man 2's Doc Ock was even better than the Green Goblin.
Con: After the creepy aliens in Pitch Black we got ... I don't even know what we got in the sequel The Chronicles of Riddick - that's how bad the movie was.

3. End the blog: Let's be real. Some times, you gotta know when to stop when you are on top. Continuing on can only taint your legacy. Given the sheer awesomeness of this blog, it is quite possible that there is no where to go but down.

Pro: There are countless cinematic masterpieces that have refrained from a sequel: Office Space, The Sixth Sense, Gladiator, Dude, Where's My Car? ... and the list goes on and on. They stand in stark contrast to films that made a sequel so bad it made me wish I never saw the first movie. After Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, we got Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (with Vanilla Ice).
Con: Godfather Part II, The Empire Strikes Back, Weekend at Bernie's II, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and Caddyshack II would never have been made if people weren't brave enough to make sequels to hit movies.

America, it is time to vote. This is the last time someone will tell you that for at least ... a week. So exercise your right and determine the future of this blog!


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

We gotta find someone else to focus on. She'd D-O-N-E!

Anonymous said...

She sucks.