Wednesday, December 17, 2008

McCain Unwilling to Endorse Palin

In yet another news story for to file away in the "This is news?" file, John McCain refused to endorse Sarah Palin for a 2012 run. Although John McCain has thus far refrained from blaming Sarah Palin for his loss, recent comments revealed what his true feelings are about his former running mate. Speaking to ABC's "This Week," McCain was asked whether Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin could count on his support if she ran for president. This isn't an unreasonable question. After all, by picking her as his running mate, he was essentially arguing that she was the second best person for the job (after himself). His response was: "I can't say something like that. We've got some great other young governors. I think you're going to see the governors assume a greater leadership role in our Republican Party," he said. He then mentioned governors Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota and Jon Huntsman of Utah.

Of course, this begs the question - uhhh, why didn't he pick one of them? It's moot now, because he lost, but McCain's response is a slap in the face. Not necessarily a slap in the face to Palin (only an idiot would proclaim support for her now). Rather, is is a slap in the face to the voters whom he steadfastly claimed should vote for him because she was the best candidate for the vice presidency. Sure, no one actually believed him. But that's beside the point. The fact remains that he expected the American people to vote for Palin-McCain, when he apparently didn't really think that much of her. I'd expect more from a "maverick." Perhaps the real mavericky thing to do would have been to admit that she wasn't really qualified and that he blew it by picking her.

Source: CNN

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Palin Screws Up Turkey Pardon

The yearly pardoning of a turkey to spare it from death before Thanksgiving is the ultimate photo op for a governor. It's an easy way to get your name in the press for something no one disagrees with. Unless you are Sarah Palin. She managed to screw up that ceremony by giving an interview about her pardon while another bird was being slaughtered in the background.

While that is certainly funny, her the nonsensical rambling statements she made during the interview are equally funny:

"It's nice to support a local business and just participate in something that isn't so heavy handed politics that invites criticism," Palin said during the interview. "Certainly will probably invite criticism for even doing this too, but at least it was fun." She also said "I am always in charge of the turkey so I am where I need to be today to prepare for that."

Source: CNN

Sunday, November 9, 2008

More Palin Scandal Emerges After Electon

ABC News reports that after the election, more disturbing facts about Sarah Palin came to light.
Specifically, Fox News reported that Palin didn't know Africa was a continent and did not know the member nations of the North American Free Trade Agreement -- the United States, Mexico and Canada -- when she was picked for vice president.

In addition, Newsweek reported that Palin spent far more than the previously reported $150,000 on clothes for herself and her family. Apparently Palin leaned on some low-level staffers to put thousands of dollars of additional purchases on their credit cards. The national committee and McCain became aware of the extra expenditures, including clothes for husband Todd Palin, when the staffers sought reimbursement. A McCain aide described the Palin family shopping spree to Newsweek as "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast."

But that's not the funny part. The funny part is "longtime Palin staffer" Meg Stapleton's attempt to defend Palin. Stapleton told ABC:

"[T]he Fox News report on Africa and NAFTA was taken out of context. She explained that during a briefing session, someone asked Palin to explain the McCain-Palin stance on an issue, and as she was responding, "in the middle, she said 'country of Africa' and somebody instantly wrote it down and said, 'Oh, my God, she thinks it's a country... But "she knows it's a continent," Stapleton said. "It was just a human mistake.'"

That doesn't even make sense. Either the statement was taken out of context (in which case, it was the reporter's mistake, not Palin's) or she made a mistake, but it was just a 'human' mistake. It can't be both. And for that matter, what exactly is a 'human mistake'? Is there any other kind of mistake someone can make? Is Palin's next gaffe going to be a robot mistake? Or a computer mistake?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Palin's Defeat: The Day After

It is with great joy and sadness that I write this blog. Joy because last night, Americans went to the polls and cast their vote for Barack Obama, and in so doing, Sarah Palin was defeated. The pick that was initially described as brilliant and "a game changer" ended up as a major drag on the ticket. I don't think it is an exaggeration to say that I, through this blog, was singlehandedly responsible for her defeat. So, coupled with the benefits of living in a Palin free world is the satisfaction I get from having taken her down. While this may not make we welcome in Alaska, Alaska is a state that just re-elected Ted Stevens to the Senate even though he was convicted of corruption. Coupled with Palin's numerous ethical lapses (as detailed by this blog), one can only conclude that one of the prerequisites to being accepted in Alaska is doing something to rip off the public.

But I digress. The point is, Obama won, Palin lost, so I should be overjoyed right? I am ... almost. There is also a tinge of sadness to this victory. Sadness because, an unintended side effect of Sarah Palin losing is ... losing Sarah Palin. You see, as of today, there really is no reason for this blog to exist. It's evolve or perish. After much internal examination ... of my movie collection, I have identified three courses of action, all of which have precedent in the movie industry. Given that we just completed the longest election ever, it only seems fitting to let my loyal readers (and people who hate this page) to decide which path to choose:

1. Continue to follow Palin: Palin is being floated as a 2012 candidate and a leader of the Republican Party. If she stays in the public eye, her steady stream of stupidity will continue. The blog would serve a constant reminder that we must be ever vigilant in guarding against the return of Palin.
Pro: The aliens in Alien were even better when they were in Aliens. So who is to say that Palin won't be even more blog worthy now?
Con: Predator 2 used the same alien that they used in Predator. This clearly shows that keeping the same bad guy can backfire ... big time. Then again, that may be more a result of swapping Arnold out for Danny Glover.

2. Find a new enemy: Palin is the worst ever. But that doesn't mean we can't find the second worst ever and focus our intense scrutiny on him/her. If this option is chosen, I will scour America for new enemy candidates, and we'll have another vote. Picture Paris Hilton's show where she's auditioning her new best friend. Candidates would not have to be as laughably bad as Palin (because it is quite possible no one is), but should be at least bad enough to make that person interesting to write about.

Pro: Spider Man 2's Doc Ock was even better than the Green Goblin.
Con: After the creepy aliens in Pitch Black we got ... I don't even know what we got in the sequel The Chronicles of Riddick - that's how bad the movie was.

3. End the blog: Let's be real. Some times, you gotta know when to stop when you are on top. Continuing on can only taint your legacy. Given the sheer awesomeness of this blog, it is quite possible that there is no where to go but down.

Pro: There are countless cinematic masterpieces that have refrained from a sequel: Office Space, The Sixth Sense, Gladiator, Dude, Where's My Car? ... and the list goes on and on. They stand in stark contrast to films that made a sequel so bad it made me wish I never saw the first movie. After Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, we got Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (with Vanilla Ice).
Con: Godfather Part II, The Empire Strikes Back, Weekend at Bernie's II, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and Caddyshack II would never have been made if people weren't brave enough to make sequels to hit movies.

America, it is time to vote. This is the last time someone will tell you that for at least ... a week. So exercise your right and determine the future of this blog!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Palin Strikes Again

Showing that she is always on the cutting edge of current events, Sarah Palin began attacking Barack Obama for comments he made in an interview months ago in which the he suggested coal plants could be bankrupted by his cap-and-trade proposal. She took Obama to task for the proposal, saying "it will bankrupt them because they’re going to be charged a huge sum for all that greenhouse gas that’s being emitted.” Perhaps in an attempt to head off charges that she would have known about this long ago if she had bothered to read anything, she blamed her delay on the 'liberal media.'

“Why is the audio tape just now surfacing?,” Palin asked. “This interview was given to San Francisco folks many, many months ago. You should have known about this, so that you would have better decision-making information as you go into the voting booth.”

There's one problem with her liberal conspiracy theory. It's false. Contrary to her attempts to portray a media cover-up, audio and video recordings of Obama’s January 17 sit-down with the Chronicle editorial board have been freely available online for more than nine months.

Oh, and there's another problem. John McCain also supports a market-based cap-and-trade proposal to reduce carbon emissions. Source: CNN

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Palin Takes Prank Call From Fake French President

Sarah Palin unwittingly took a prank call Saturday from a Canadian comedian posing as French President Nicolas Sarkozy. That's understandable, I don't think I'd recognize Sarkozy's voice if he called me. During the call, "Sarkozy" told her she would make a good president someday ... which should have been her first sign that the call was a prank.

Of course, Palin has claimed extensive experience as a Russia and Canada specialist, given her proximity to those countries. Thankfully, she was able to flex her foreign policy knowledge of Canada. During the call, the prankster refers to Canadian singer Steph Carse as Canada's prime minister, Palin replies: "Well, he's doing fine and yeah, when you come into a position underestimated it gives you an opportunity to prove the pundits and the critics wrong. You work that much harder." Canada's prime minister is Stephen Harper.
Source: Yahoo

You can listen to the clip on YouTube HERE - it's kind of scary how long it took someone running for vice president to figure out she was getting punked.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Fan Gives Palin Appropriate Gift

This from KDKA 2 News:

"A Latrobe man is hoping his invention will bring Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Gov. Sarah Palin good luck in the upcoming election. Frank Moff says he invented the "Bobber with a Brain" for fishermen several years ago. Moff says he's hoping it will bring the Republicans luck in the upcoming election. He says he met Jerome Bettis at Sharky's Bar in Latrobe one night during Steelers training camp and gave him a bobber for good luck in the upcoming season. That's the year he says the Steelers ended up winning the Super Bowl. So Moff said whe he heard that Gov. Palin enjoys the great outdoors, he decided to send her one. A few weeks later, Moff says he got a call from Palin's husband, Alaska's "First Dude," Todd, thanking him for the gesture. Moff tells KDKA that during their conversation "The First Dude" said he would try the bobber when he returns to Alaska."

I can't think of a person more in need of a gift that comes "with a brain." However, Mr. Moff would have helped the Republicans even more if he could have given John McCain a "Vice Presidential Candidate with a Brain."

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Joke of the Day: Palin Touted As 2012 Candidate

Yahoo has a story with a headline that asks "Is Sarah Palin preparing for 2012?" My first reaction was "If she's trying to build credibility for a presidential run, acting like an idiot is a funny way of doing that."

However, apparently a Palin run sounds like a great idea to some. Yahoo reports: Sarah Palin “has absolutely earned a right to run in 2012,” says Greg Mueller, who was a senior aide in the presidential campaigns of Pat Buchanan and Steve Forbes. Mueller says Palin has given conservatives “hope” and “something to believe in.”

Is this Greg Mueller guy serious? Anyone who thinks Palin has earned the right to run in 2012 is either an idiot or a person who has never seen her interviewed on television. Mr. Mueller's enthusiasm for Palin had me puzzled and confused. To the extent McCain is fading in the polls, it seems that Palin is the one who is dragging him down. Out of the four candidates (McCain, Obama, Biden and Palin), Palin is the only one with a negative approval rating. Even Republicans are saying she was a bad choice.

And then I realized that Greg Mueller was a senior aide to the presidential campaigns of Pat Buchanan and Steve Forbes. Steve Forbes? The only skill that dude seems to have is how to work as a senior advisor for the biggest loser running for president. Using that criteria, Mueller's pick of Palin seems quite appropriate.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Finding Something For Palin To Do Isn't Easy

According to CNN, Republican vice presidential nominee Gov. Sarah Palin vowed on Tuesday to use her executive experience to tackle government reform and energy independence if she and Sen. John McCain win this year's presidential election.

If there is a worse person to put in charge of those positions, let me know.

Energy Independence
Palin said she and McCain, the Republican presidential nominee, discussed the possibility of her working on the issue of energy independence if she becomes vice president. "That's been my forte as the governor of an energy producing state and as a former chair of the, of the energy regulator -- entity up there in Alaska," she said.

Maybe I'm just stupid, but why would we turn to the Governor of the a state that has a SURPLUS of oil to shape our energy policy? She's the one person who has absolutely no experience with the energy crisis. What incentive does Alaska have to conserve energy or use alternative energy sources? If we stop using oil, Alaksa loses its cash cow. Shouldn't we pick someone from a state that has no oil? Now that would be someone who could tell us how to be energy independent.

Putting Palin in charge of energy is like putting Kenneth Lay and Enron in charge of corporate regulation.

Government Reform
Let me get this straight. Palin charges Alaska to live at home, abused her power in Troopergate mess, and looked into banning books at a library, and McCain is going to put her in charge of fixing government?

To top it off, the Associated Press reports that Palin charged Alaska "for her children to travel with her, including to events where they were not invited, and later amended expense reports to specify that they were on official business." The AP reports:

"The charges included costs for hotel and commercial flights for three daughters to join Palin to watch their father in a snowmobile race, and a trip to New York, where the governor attended a five-hour conference and stayed with 17-year-old Bristol for five days and four nights in a luxury hotel. In all, Palin has charged the state $21,012 for her three daughters' 64 one-way and 12 round-trip commercial flights since she took office in December 2006. In some other cases, she has charged the state for hotel rooms for the girls."

Charging Alaska for her children's travel to events they weren't even invited to is bad enough. But Palin compounded her bad judgment when she ordered the records to be altered: "On Aug. 6 ... after Alaska reporters asked for the records, Palin ordered changes to previously filed expense reports for her daughters' travel."

Putting Palin in charge of reforming government is like putting Tom Noe in charge of ethics.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Sarah Palin: Friend Of The Common Man II

Our first indication that Sarah Palin might not be your average ‘hockey mom’ was her designer glasses imported from Japan that cost more than $600. But now we come to learn from CNN that the Republican National Committee spent more than $150,000 on clothes, hair and make-up for Sarah Palin on the campaign trail. Source: CNN

$150,000 for clothes, hair and make-up? Are you kidding me? That’s more than Joe the Plumber makes in an entire year. Now, to be fair, the RNC is paying for this ‘extreme makeover’ so the taxpayers aren’t getting directly hosed this time. But it should still concern us on many levels.

First, Palin claims to be a regular old hockey mom. How many hockey moms could blow $150,000 on clothes, hair, and makeup in such a short time? How many would even want to, when they had ice rink time, skates, and gas to pay for?

Second, this is clearly money that was flushed down the toilet. If she was ugly and poorly dressed before she became the nominee, one could argue that these were necessary expenses. Think Anne Hathaway in The Princess Diaries. But here’s the problem: Palin was pretty hot before. She’s pretty hot now. Nothing much has changed. I don’t think anyone has said: “Wow, she’s sure cleaned up since the convention. Kinda reminds me of those movies where the cool guy dares his buddy to date the ugliest girl in school, but then she takes off her glasses and she’s hot!” If she’s willing to blow $150,000 on something so trivial as her appearance I would at least hope she’d get a noticeable improvement for her investment. If she can spend $150,000 without making any improvement, can she really be trusted with our nation’s budget?

Finally, even though the GOP is footing the bill for the clothes, the American taxpayers are still getting a raw deal. If someone gave you $150,000 in clothes, makeup, and hair care you would have to pay taxes on that. But Palin is no average person. She’s come up with the brilliant argument that the clothes aren’t hers – they are the Republican National Committee’s clothes! As a result, she refuses to pay income taxes on those clothes. Does this mean after the election, the clothes will be circulated around the GOP for people to wear? Is Rudy Guiliani wearing one of Palin’s old blouses while he makes those robocalls? Can we expect to see Mitt Romney in a red leather jacket? What about Mike Huckabee in a skirt? If I were someone who has been questioned about my ethics in scandals ranging from Troopergate, to charging Alaska for my children to hang out in New York, to charging Alaska for travel expenses when I was staying at home, I’d go out of my way to pay the taxes on the nifty duds I was given, even if I could come up with a reason not to. After all, if you are going to claim you are one of us, you should pay the same taxes that we do.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Palin Unveils Worst Nickname Ever

Taking “Joe the Plumber” wordplay to an unprecedented new level of stupidity, Sarah Palin on Monday dubbed Barack Obama “Barack the Wealth Spender” for his plan to offer tax credits to lower and middle-income wage earners during a speech in Grand Junction, Colorado. That's just lame.

"Barack the wealth spender doesn't even makes sense. "Wealth Spender" isn't a job, making it a pretty weak wordplay. And for that matter, isn't a "wealth spender" anyone who buys something? Aren't we all spending our wealth every day? What would be the opposite of "wealth spender"... poverty spender?

Here are top five ten potential "Joe the plumber" nicknames for Palin:
1. Sarah the Russia Watcher
2. Sarah the Governor Who Abused Her Power During "Troopergate"
3. Sarah the Librarian (because she reads every magazine and newspaper, and tried to ban books when she was mayor)
4. Sarah the Hate Mongering Smear Campaigner
5. Sarah the Person Just Like Tina Fey, Only Dumber

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Hey Cities, You Suck!

If you see where you live on this map, you aren't an American.

After a short period in which Palin uncharacteristically refrained from saying something stupid, she made up for her absence is spades, somehow managing to insult every city in America in one fell swoop. Here's the text of what she said during a fundraiser in Greensboro, North Carolina (Source: CNN):

"We believe that the best of America is in the small towns that we get to visit, and in the wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard-working, very patriotic, very pro-America areas of this great nation," she said. "This is where we find the kindness and the goodness and the courage of everyday Americans," Palin added.

Finally, someone had the courage to hold up a mirror to the American People's face, and what they saw was a lazy, unpatriotic, mean, and cowardly person who lived in a city (unless they happened to be one of the lucky few who lived in one of those wonderful little pockets of real America, in which case they saw an awesome person). Rather than getting mad at Palin, people in cities should look inward at what is wrong with them. Palin's speech serves as a wake up call to the city dwelling scum who have been dragging down the wonderful little pockets pro-American patriots: You can complain about Sarah Palin all you want, but it won't make you any more of an American until you change your unpatriotic, cowardly ways and start reminding Sarah Palin of home by wearing steel toed boots and an NRA hat.

Note: If you haven't undergone this journey of self-discovery yet, I suggest you use this website to look up where you live. If you live in a city, you suck. If you live in a town, village, or 'place' you are cool.

The next day, Palin clarified her comments: "It's all pro-America. I was just reinforcing the fact that there, where I was, there's good patriotic people there in these rallies, so excited about positive change and reform of government that's coming that they are so appreciative of hearing our message, hearing our plan. Not any one area of America is more pro-America patriotically than others."

I wish she would have told me that before I went out and bought a pair of steel toed boots and joined the National Realtors' Association.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

News Flash: Palin Praises McCain's Performance In Debate

CNN posted a story with the headline "Palin Praises McCain's Performance In Debate." Is anyone surprised by that? Isn't that the job of the running mate? Even though only 31% of people polled thought McCain won, you'd hope one of those 31% would be Palin. Since when is it news when a running mate says something good about the nominee?

That said, the article did have some redeeming value. While speaking in Banghor, Maine, Palin had these nice words to say about her crowd:

“I feel like I am at home because I see the Carhartts and the steel-toed boots,” she said, standing next to Maine’s senior senator Olympia Snowe. “And I see mixed in there with the suits and the ties, the NRA hats and all those good things that remind me of home.”

Maybe it is just me, but people wearing "the Carhartts and the steel-toed boots" or "the suits and the ties" doesn't really evoke 'home' to me. Now, I recognize I am not from Alaska, but where I come from people wearing suits and ties reminds me of work. And, if I am not mistaken, folks wear steel-toed boots and Carhartts to work and then take them off when they get home.
But maybe she meant home in the broader sense. But that leads to another question: why should work clothes and NRA hats remind Palin of Alaska? It's not like Alaska has cornered the market on those things. They are fairly common across the lower 48 states as well. And it isn't like those are iconic Alaskan images. I'm guessing NRA hats and Carhartts don't even make the top 10 list of things people think about when they think of Alaska. It's like saying "seeing all these cars here reminds me of my home, Chicago ... because it has cars."

We should give her some credit. At least she said something nice about her fans this time. In Richmond, she mistook her fans for hecklers. When the fans started chanting 'louder, louder' because they couldn't hear, she stopped speaking and chastised them, saying ""I hope those protesters have the courage and honor to give veterans thanks for their right to protest." If this is how she regards her supporters, one can only wonder what she'll do when she comes across someone who doesn't agree with her. Maybe that's why she's been ducking interviews from the major media outlets.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Sarah Palin's Strange Use Of The Phrase "Palling Around"

On Saturday October 4th, Sarah Palin opened up a new line of attack against Barack Obama at a rally, claiming Barack Obama is "someone who sees America, it seems, as being so imperfect that he's palling around with terrorists who would target their own country." Source, CNN:

CNN checked the facts, and determined that this claim was false. One could point out that making such a false claim indicates that Palin is a liar. And they would be right. But Palin's speech reveals an even greater problem - it shows she's kinda stupid. Here is a candidate for Vice President who doesn't really know how to use the English language.

First, she says Obama is palling around with "terrorists." Her attack is clearly referring to William Ayers. By my count, that is one guy. But Palin used the plural 'terrorists.' That would indicate there was more than one terrorist that was targeting his own country that Obama was palling around with. But even the attack ads indicate they are only talking about Ayers. I know she's supposed to be folksy, but even idiots don't use plural words when they are referring to the singular.

Ok, so Palin can't count very well. So what? Is anyone that shocked that a woman who can't name a single magazine or newspaper that she has read isn't good at math? But Palin also doesn't seem to understand the phrase 'palling around.' When I think of palling around, I think about hangin' with my buddy, watching a football game, playing playstation, or maybe taking part in a book club. Well, probably not taking part in a book club, but you get the point.
So, what did Obama do with this Ayers dude? According to CNN factcheckers, "Ayers and Obama worked with the non-profit Chicago Annenberg Challenge on a huge school improvement project." That doesn't sound like fun at all. It sounds like work - the big clue is he was working with a non-profit, not "having a blast, chillin' with the non-profit." That, and frankly, school improvement projects don't really sound fun.

They also "both were board members on the Woods Fund, a charitable foundation that gave money to various causes." I'm guessing the Woods Fund puts the bored in board. Even Carrot Top couldn't make serving on a board interesting, as anyone who has seen his film "Chairman of the Board" will attest. As the poster indicates "work sucks." If being on a board was something people did to pal around, the poster would have said "Chairman of the Board: Work is Awesome!"

Since when is doing work with someone considered palling around? By Palin's definition of 'palling around' I've palled around with all of my coworkers, even the creepy ones I try to avoid at all costs because he smells like cat urine and I think he may be a serial killer. And that's just not cool, because on the off chance that I ever run for something, I'd hate to have to respond to an ad that said I "palled around with a serial killer who smelled like cat urine."

Monday, October 6, 2008

Palin Was Right About General McClellan

Although Sarah Palin did an admirable job of avoiding answering any questions during Thursday night's Vice Presidential Debate, her response to a question on Afghanistan has been much maligned. However, if you look at the transcript of what she actually said, you'll see that she was actually quite accurate:

Palin: "Well, first, McClellan did not say definitively the surge principles would not work in Afghanistan. Certainly, accounting for different conditions in that different country and conditions are certainly different. We have NATO allies helping us for one and even the geographic differences are huge but the counterinsurgency principles could work in Afghanistan. McClellan didn't say anything opposite of that. The counterinsurgency strategy going into Afghanistan, clearing, holding, rebuilding, the civil society and the infrastructure can work in Afghanistan. And those leaders who are over there, who have also been advising George Bush on this have not said anything different but that." Source: CNN.

The liberal media has taken this answer and spun it to say that "she called David McKiernan, the commanding general in Afghanistan, 'McClellan' (emphasis added)." When taken in context, it may seem that Palin didn't know who David McKeirnan and is clueless about foreign affairs. But the reality is, she was simply showcasing her vast historical knowledge of the Civil War and using it to make a brilliant allegory about herself. It turns out that George Brinton McClellan was a major general during the American Civil War. Palin was clearly using her reference to him to point out some similarities between the General McClellan and herself:

Military Command: George McClellan organized the famous Army of the Potmac and served briefly as commander in chief of the Union Army. Sarah Palin was commander in chief of Alaska's famous national guard.

Meticulous Preparation: According to Wikipedia, although McClellan was meticulous in his planning and preparations, these attributes may have hampered his ability to challenge aggressive opponents in a fast-moving battlefield environment. Similarly, although Palin is meticulous in her review of countless newspapers and magazines, that breadth of knowledge may have hampered her ability to answer basic questions asked by aggressive reporters in fast moving interview environments.

Leadership: McClellan's leadership skills during battles were questioned by President Lincoln. Despite this, he was the most popular of that army's commanders with its soldiers, who felt that he had their morale and well-being as paramount concerns. Palin's leadership is questioned by pretty much everybody, and yet, somehow, she is still popular among social conservatives.

Snappy Dressers: As the picture indicates, both General McClellan and Palin are snappy dressers.

Middle Names: General McClellan has a cool middle name - "Brinton." Sarah Palin also has a middle name.

So, is the "McClellan" name-drop just another example of Palin screwing up? Heck no! It is 100% true that General McClellan didn't say definitively the surge principles would not work because he's been dead since 1885. For those of you who don't share Palin's encyclopedic knowledge base, that is way before we ever sent troops to Afghanistan. Isn't it ironic? The one time Palin says something that is true, and she gets criticized for it!

Some people might question why Sarah Palin would make such a sly reference to General McClellan in an answer about Afghanistan, given the fact that he has been dead even longer than Dan Quayle's career. She wisely anticipated this critique and addressed it during the debate: "And I may not answer the questions that either the moderator or you want to hear, but I'm going to talk straight to the American people and let them know my track record also." Just in case the liberal elites didn't understand that explanation, she reminded us repeatedly that she is a maverick.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Sarah Palin Has Read Every Newspaper and Magazine ... EVER!

Today, Sarah Palin put to rest America's doubts about her intelligence during an interview with Katie Couric on CBS News that revealed her to be quite well read. In fact, if her claim is true, she is the most well read person ... in the history of the world. In her interview, Sarah Palin was asked to cite an example of a newspaper or magazine that she read regularly prior to being named as McCain's running mate. She replied she read "all of them."

Interview Transcript

Couric: And when it comes to establishing your worldview, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?

Palin: I've read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.

Couric: What, specifically?

Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.

Couric: Can you name a few?

Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news, too. Alaska isn't a foreign country, where it's kind of suggested, "Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?" Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.

I for one, have no doubts that Sarah Palin regularly reads all newspapers and magazines. The results of her intensive preparation are on display each time she conducts an interview. Of course, this also means that she regularly reads Hustler, Penthouse, Juggs, Barely Legal, and Playboy, which are magazines that would fit into the category of "all of them." So now the question becomes, is America ready to support a Vice Presidential candidate who reads so much hardcore porn?

Source: CBS News (

Monday, September 29, 2008

Sarah Palin is DINO-Mite!

The Huffington Post reported that Sarah Palin has said that she believes humans and dinosaurs lived at the same time. According to Wasilla resident Philip Munger, when he asked Palin about her religious beliefs, she told him that "dinosaurs and humans walked the Earth at the same time." When he asked her about prehistoric fossils and tracks dating back millions of years, Palin responded that "she had seen pictures of human footprints inside the tracks." While Palin herself hasn't acknowledged this belief, the liberal blogosphere is having a field day.

Far be it from this blog to defend Palin, but she may be on to something here. I did a little digging, and unearthed solid evidence that Palin is right. And I'm not talking about the 'evolutionists' argument that dinosaurs evolved into birds, so that birds are like dinosaurs. No, I'm talking about these 100% dinosaurs:

1. Barney: Old people are laughing at Palin for thinking humans and dinosaurs lived together. But that's because those old fogies have never seen Barney in action. As this picture indicates, Barney can often be found dancing with children. He may be creepy, but it is indisputable visual evidence that dinosaurs walk among us.

2. Denver, The Last Dinosaur: This syndicated cartoon (1988-1989) featured a "hip, green dinosaur" who secretly lives with a group of teenagers. As the picture below indicates, Denver is clearly walking around with humans. While his name "Denver, The Last Dinosaur" indicates that after his death, humans will no longer walk with dinosaurs, we'll always have the memories ... and this picture.

3. Ringo Starr: As you can see, none other than Ringo Starr is photographed with a pterodactyl in the movie "Caveman". Sure, cavemen are often used as evidence of evolution, but in this case, Ringo star is a human playing a caveman, so it still counts. And technically, pterosaurs are not dinosaurs, but we say close enough - we're talking about a memver of the Beatles here!

4. Jurassic Park: There are two Jurassic Park books and three Jurassic Park movies, all clearly depicting dinosaurs and people living at the same time. Sure, these dinosaurs were cloned from amber, but all Palin said was that people walked with dinosaurs. She never said when that happened. This isn't really related to Palin, but my favorite part of the first movie is when the cartoon DNA guy in the welcome video says "Dino DNA!" with a southern accent.

5. King Kong: In both the first (black and white) version and the Peter Jackson version, King Kong had to fight a T-Rex. I don't know about the 1980's version because it sucked and I blocked it out of my memory. Either way, at least on that island, dinosaurs and people were alive at the same time ... until King Kong killed it. These classic films also are evidence that people and giant gorillas lived together, just in case Palin ever says something about that.

6. Turok - Dinosaur Hunter: Dinosaurs are so prevalent in modern society that there's a guy name Turok who has to hunt them in a video game. Does anyone question the existence of deer? No. And since people hunt deer, I'd say the case is pretty airtight that dinosaurs walk with people, because there's a guy named Turok who hunts them. And if one video game isn't enough, there's another one called "Dino Crisis."

As you can see, Sarah Palin is on to something here. Given this new evidence, it may be time to throw out those evolution textbooks and replace them with ... textbooks about dinosaurs living with humans.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Palin's Laughable Foreign Policy "Experience"

Congratulations! Now that you have seen this map of Russia, you have the same foreign policy experience as Sarah Palin!

Sarah Palin's lame defense of her foreign policy experience in her interview with Katie Couric shows that either she's a complete and total moron or she thinks we are. Not only does she try to claim that being next to Russia amounts to foreign policy experience, but she expresses surprise that this stance has been mocked.

Katie Couric: You've cited Alaska's proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?

Sarah Palin: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and, on our other side, the land-boundry that we have with Canada. It's funny that a comment like that was kinda made to … I don't know, you know … reporters. Couric: Mocked?

Palin: Yeah, mocked, I guess that's the word, yeah.

Couric: Well, explain to me why that enhances your foreign-policy credentials.

Palin: Well, it certainly does, because our, our next-door neighbors are foreign countries, there in the state that I am the executive of. And there…

Couric: Have you ever been involved in any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?

Palin: We have trade missions back and forth, we do. It's very important when you consider even national-security issues with Russia. As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right next to, they are right next to our state.

When she says this stuff, does she actually think it sounds like a good answer? Saying that being next to a country amounts to foreign policy experience is like claiming you had sex with someone because you stood in line behind them in the grocery store checkout line.

Source: CBS News (

Sarah Palin's Miserable Performance On CBS Evening News

Sarah Palin doesn't understand English... or she's deaf ... or she's a robot designed to spit out pre-programmed answers regardless of the question. These are the only possible explanations for her embarrassingly poor responses to Katie Couric's simple questions on the CBS Evening News (9/24) in this telling back and forth about the financial crisis:

Couric: You've said, quote, "John McCain will reform the way Wall Street does business." Other than supporting stricter regulations of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac two years ago, can you give us any more example of his leading the charge for more oversight?
Palin: I think that the example that you just cited, with his warnings two years ago about Fannie and Freddie - that, that's paramount. That's more than a heck of a lot of other senators and representatives did for us.
Couric: But he's been in Congress for 26 years. He's been chairman of the powerful Commerce Committee. And he has almost always sided with less regulation, not more.
Palin: He's also known as the maverick though, taking shots from his own party, and certainly taking shots from the other party. Trying to get people to understand what he's been talking about - the need to reform government.
Couric: But can you give me any other concrete examples? Because I know you've said Barack Obama is a lot of talk and no action. Can you give me any other examples in his 26 years of John McCain truly taking a stand on this?
Palin: I can give you examples of things that John McCain has done, that has shown his foresight, his pragmatism, and his leadership abilities. And that is what America needs today.
Couric: I'm just going to ask you one more time - not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation.
Palin: I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to you.

This is the place where I'd put in my snappy commentary about how stupid her answers were and why. But I think in this case, the text of the interview speaks for itself. I encourage you to click on the CBS link to read more of her answers. They don't get any better.

Source: CBS (

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Alaska's New Tourism Slogan: Come To Alaska, We Have A Lot Of Rapes and Murders!

When news broke that Wasilla charged rape victims for rape examinations while Sarah Palin was mayor, the angle taken by the 'blogosphere' was that 'Sarah Palin Charged People For Rape Kits." As the CNN article states, "interviews and a review of records turned up no evidence that Palin knew that rape victims were being charged in her town."

Why Would I Know What's Going On In My City? I'm Only The Mayor! Even though she hasn't exactly proven herself to be entirely trustworthy, I'm willing to take her claims of ignorance as being true ... which leads to a bigger problem: How could a mayor of a town of only 7,000 people NOT know about the practice? It's not like it was a secret. After all, Rep. Eric Croft knew about it. He sponsored a state law requiring cities to provide the examinations free of charge to victims. The town's police chief, who apparently was a strong supporter of the practice, opposed the bill in the legislature. So now, Palin didn't know that rape victims were being charged for exams AND that her police chief was vocally opposing statewide legislation.

Rape and Murder Capital of America? But even more disturbing is this statistic provided by CNN: "For years, Alaska has had the worst record of any state in rape and in murder of women by men. The rape rate in Alaska is 2.5 times the national average." Two and a half times is an awful lot. If you went to McDonald's to buy a hamburger on the dollar menu, and they charged you $2.50, you'd be pretty mad ... unless you were so rich that you didn't care how much food cost ... but if you were that rich, odds are, you'd be eating somewhere better than McDonald's (cue angry comments from wealthy people who are insulted because they eat McDonald's). No wonder Palin is such a gun advocate - if you're a woman in Alaska, you apparently need a gun to keep someone from raping and murdering you.

Rightly or wrongly, people who tout their 'executive experience' are judged by the things that happen under their watch as executive. And at least in this area, Alaska's performance is pretty poor.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Sarah Palin: Friend Of The Common Man

For those middle class Americans struggling to make ends meet in this time of fiscal meltdowns, skyrocketing gas prices, and mortgage foreclosures, Sarah Palin is the candidate for you! After all, who better understands the plight of the little guy than a candidate who wears designer imported glasses?

These designer imported glasses say a lot about Sarah Palin, and why every down-on-their-luck middle American should vote for her:

1. Just Your Regular Hockey Mom: These aren't just any designer imported glasses. These are expensive designer glasses. These "customized glasses and frames from Japanese designer Kazuo Kawasaki" start (yes, I said start) at $600. If being a hockey mom means I can afford glasses that start at $600, sign me up for a sex change, some lipstick, and a pair of skates!

2. Knows Value When She Sees It: Times are tough. People have to budget for the rising cost of food and gas. The federal government has to deal with record budget deficits. Palin often speaks about how she cut wasteful spending in Alaska. I'm guessing these glasses are the perfect example of her ability to trim the fat off the budget. I'm just a dumb middle class person, so I have to assume that her $600 dollar designer glasses imported all the way from Japan help her see much better than my $85 pair from the Target down the block. It is probably these super glasses that allows her to see Russia from her front porch. Heck, at that price, her glasses probably give her x-ray vision too. That is the kind of candidate we need to safeguard our tax dollars!

3. Country First: Palin's glasses also appeal to the middle class workers who have seen their jobs go overseas. After all, that's $600 dollars being pumped into the economy. That my friends, is the definition of "Country First." And even better, they are imported glasses, which means they are purchased from another country, in this case Japan, so the Japanese economy gets the $600 ... oh wait, that doesn't help American workers so much after all.
4. A Campaign About Issues: These glasses have created quite a stir. Everyone is talking about them! Who cares about 'ethics' or 'competence' or 'job performance' when I can get some glasses that make me look cool?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Palin Lashes Out Against Politicizing Politics

Today, CNN reported that Sarah Palin refuses to cooperate with the "Troopergate" investigation into her questionably inappropriate role in the firing of Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan because he refused to fire her former brother in law. Instead she lashed out at the Obama campaign for politicizing her conduct as Governor of Alaska.

The message sent is clear: Obama and the liberal elites should stop using Palin's poor conduct as mayor and governor to score cheap political points.

To help the media understand what is off limits, the campaign released a list of topics, which Palin has decided are 'private matters' that the media should stop discussing immediately:
1. Using her power as governor to try to fire her brother-in-law: Brother-in-law has the word 'brother' in it. Your brother is part of your family. Anything having to do with your family is by definition a 'family matter.' Put another way, what she does to her brother- in-law is a private family matter, and should be dealt with privately, even if it does involve using her public office to get him fired ... because he's family.

2. Getting travel money to stay at home: Again, we can all agree what happens in a person's home is a private matter. Even if being in your home involves collecting thousands of taxpayer dollars, your home is your castle, and you can shoot people for coming inside that castle. Now, no one is saying you will be shot if you continue to discuss this topic, but look at the picture attached to this story. Do you want to take that chance?

3. Discussing her stance that creationism be taught in public schools: Religion is a personal choice. Sure, Palin is taking her religious belief and using it to force exposure to creationism on all kids who go to public schools ... but that doesn't make it any less personal to Palin. So all you 'scientists' and 'elites' out there who want to base science class on 'science' should mind your own business.

4. Reporting that she never went to Iraq when she said she did: Haven't you ever heard of the phrase "what doesn't happen in Iraq because you never actually went to Iraq, stays in Iraq?"

5. Coverage of her attempt to ban books: Reading is a private matter, unless it involves books that we don't agree with. Res Ipso Facto, the press should not be allowed to discuss anything involving books. Besides, at the end of the day, Palin was unable to get any books banned. Perhaps the focus shouldn't be on how much of a scary right-wing censor she is after all. If anything, the issue should be whether someone who was unable to accomplish such a simple task in town of only 7,000 people is ready to run an entire country.

The campaign also helpfully provided the press with the issue they should be focuing on: Palin-Is-A-Pig-Wearing-Lipstick-Gate. This is the hard core policy issue that John McCain was talking about when he said he was going to give the American people the debate they truly deserve.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Sarah Palin Faces A New Challenge

As the Palin-McCain campaign continued to fight off controversies, a new challenge emerged. Saturday Night Live featured the debut of Tina Fey's Sarah Palin impersonation. Immediately, Democrats and Republicans alike found something they could agree on - the impersonation was good. Good enough, in fact, that the nation began to wonder: Do we need the real Sarah Palin anymore? The pundits began to ask: Since Fey did such a good job playing Palin, why not just cut out the middle man have her be Palin?

For democrats, Tina Fey's Palin represents a chance to have all the goodness of Palin without all the pesky 'controversies' and 'inabilty to answer simple questions' that has caused them to question her qualifications since day one.

For the McCain camp, Tina Fey's Palin presented a rare opportunity for a 'do-over' - here was their chance to grab the smart, capable woman that McCain thought he was getting after his exhaustive two hour screening process. The toughest challenge to making the switch would be changing all the yard signs, a problem quickly solved by deciding that the campaign would become "Vote John McCain and Sarah Palin (played by Tina Fey)", which would only require adding a few words to the posters and bumper stickers.

Fey has thus far remained silent on the issue of joining the ticket, preferring to focus on not joining a McCain ticket. But Saturday Night Live producers are already whispering that if Fey leaves, they will have to find a replacement to play the part of Sarah Palin. Industry insiders note that should Fey replace her on the ticket, Sarah Palin herself would become available to play the part of Sarah Palin on SNL. But those same insiders note that the general consensus is, she would not be able to pull off the part, because she would have trouble remembering her lines.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

More McCain Palin Lies Exposed!

The Presidential Election season has claimed a lot of casualties (one being my ability to hear the word veepstakes without cringing). But perhaps the most tragic loss has been the death of truth in advertising. Barack Obama and the Democrats have been angered at the distortions and outright lies being spewed out by the Republican attack machine. And they are probably right to complain. But thus far, they have failed to focus on the biggest lie of all - A lie that is easily proven - a lie that is proudly included in John McCain's own TV spots - a lie that threatens the core principles of our democracy.

No, I'm not talking about that Paris and Britney ad, because that wasn't a lie, it was just stupid. I'm talking about McCain's claim at the end of his commercial that he and Sarah Palin are "the original Mavericks." Um, hello? Does the name James Garner ring a bell? From 1957 to 1960, James Garner played the role of Brett Maverick in a show called ... Maverick. It would seem obvious that a guy who played a character named Maverick in a show named Maverick way back in 1957 would be the original maverick.

But Bofa D's is a thorough news outlet. We don't run stories without checking them out (or at least thinking about checking them out). First, let's dispose of the easy one: Sarah Palin. Given the fact that she wasn't even born until 1964, unless she has invented time travel, she clearly is not even in the running to be the 'orginial maverick.'
But what about John McCain? We know John McCain is 72 years old. Perhaps he was already working in government, which could qualify him to claim that he is the original maverick. The intrepid Bofa D's research team did some digging to see what McCain was up to in 1957. So, what was Mr. McCain doing in 1957? In stark contrast to James Garner, who was being the original maverick, according to, John McCain was a year away from graduating "(fifth from the bottom of his class) from the Naval Academy at Annapolis." That doesn't sound mavericklike at all.

So John McCain and Sarah Palin don't have a legitimate claim to being the original mavericks. But mabe they just didn't know about the earlier maverick. Politicians make factual mistakes all the time, and McCain is pretty old. But this is not an example of him forgetting something because of his old age (like how many houses he owns), or just never knowing about the earlier maverick. No, this is a purposeful attempt to manipulate the facts for his own gain.

Let's examine the evidence: First of all, given the fact that he graduated 5th from the bottom of his class, he can't really say he was too busy studying to watch TV. And there were only 3 channels back in the day, so it's not like he was watching something else. Second, Maverick ran for 58 episodes, which is approximately 57 episodes longer than any new show on NBC will last this year. The show won a primetime Emmy for crying out loud! And to top it off, Garner was the maverick again in 1978 in "the New Maverick." To throw salt in the wounds, there was even a Maverick movie (starring someone else).

John McCain and Sarah Palin can no longer hide behind the truth: Everyone knows about this show, even John McCain. The facts clearly show that James Garner is the original maverick, John McCain and Sarah Palin's claims notwithstanding. What now? We have caught McCain-Palin in a boldfaced lie, a lie that has somehow stayed out of the major media outlets. Thus far, James Garner, the true 'original maverick' has yet to comment on this controversy, but it is only a matter of time before McCain has to answer for his lies.

Alternatives to Palin for VP Emerge

Perhaps in response to the controversy swirling around Sarah Palin's lack of experience and questionable ethics, three additional candidates for Vice President have emerged. Below is a breakdown of each (with a link to further information):

Steve Urkel: He's certainly as diverse as Palin and being a genius certainly doesn't hurt. Much like Palin's glasses have brought on a sea of copycats, were Urkel to become VP, people would be hitching up their pants above their bellybuttons.

Screech: Like Urkel, Screech is smart. Unlike Urkel, Screech has managed to hang out with the cool kids (Zach, Slater, Kelly Kapowski). And, as an assistant principal in Saved By The Bell: The New Class, Screech is uniquely qualified to speak on education issues. However, he did star in a crappy porn movie, so that kinda hurts the family values thing.

Grimace: Perhaps the darkhorse candidate of the three (or is it purple-horse?), Grimace enjoys universal approval and name recognition. However, like Palin, people don't know where he stands on the issues. Heck, they don't even know WHAT he is.

Register YOUR vote on the poll and tell us who you support!