Sunday, October 19, 2008

Hey Cities, You Suck!

If you see where you live on this map, you aren't an American.

After a short period in which Palin uncharacteristically refrained from saying something stupid, she made up for her absence is spades, somehow managing to insult every city in America in one fell swoop. Here's the text of what she said during a fundraiser in Greensboro, North Carolina (Source: CNN):

"We believe that the best of America is in the small towns that we get to visit, and in the wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard-working, very patriotic, very pro-America areas of this great nation," she said. "This is where we find the kindness and the goodness and the courage of everyday Americans," Palin added.

Finally, someone had the courage to hold up a mirror to the American People's face, and what they saw was a lazy, unpatriotic, mean, and cowardly person who lived in a city (unless they happened to be one of the lucky few who lived in one of those wonderful little pockets of real America, in which case they saw an awesome person). Rather than getting mad at Palin, people in cities should look inward at what is wrong with them. Palin's speech serves as a wake up call to the city dwelling scum who have been dragging down the wonderful little pockets pro-American patriots: You can complain about Sarah Palin all you want, but it won't make you any more of an American until you change your unpatriotic, cowardly ways and start reminding Sarah Palin of home by wearing steel toed boots and an NRA hat.

Note: If you haven't undergone this journey of self-discovery yet, I suggest you use this website to look up where you live. If you live in a city, you suck. If you live in a town, village, or 'place' you are cool.

The next day, Palin clarified her comments: "It's all pro-America. I was just reinforcing the fact that there, where I was, there's good patriotic people there in these rallies, so excited about positive change and reform of government that's coming that they are so appreciative of hearing our message, hearing our plan. Not any one area of America is more pro-America patriotically than others."

I wish she would have told me that before I went out and bought a pair of steel toed boots and joined the National Realtors' Association.


Carson said...

National Realtors' Association! HAHAHAHA.

Pelikan said...

Spot on Ballstein. Your readers may want some more cogent analysis:

Anonymous said...

Her "explanation" was just as bad as her original comment! She is an absolute retard! And I guess I an not a "real" American since I live in a city! Agh!! If I stop brishing my teeth and let them rot, stop reading anything, let the weeds grow in my garden, stop growing arugula, and buy a goat--will I then be a "real" American? oh I hope so!!

Anonymous said...

Here is why we should all help get out the vote on November 4th!

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